Top 11 List of Why Guys Pay

I was just asked the question “Why do the guys always pay for the dates? That’s not right.”

Well, here are the top 11 reasons why we guys pay for first dates:
(in no particular order)

We make more money: This isn’t always true, and most of us wish it wasn’t true, but for me it usually is true. In the last year, I have not gone on a date with a girl who makes more money than me. I’m almost 100% certain. Many girls work much harder than I do, but their jobs just aren’t as financially rewarding. Why should they be punished by the arbitrariness of the system and/or the possible glass ceiling? The closest I’ve come to dating a girl who makes as much as me has been a 3rd year lawyer, and her salary is posted online, like all lawyers at big firms.

We actually want to: This may be hard to believe, but chivalry isn’t totally dead. Some guys, especially myself, like the idea of treating a girl well, and if that means buying dinner/drinks, so be it. We’ve been raised to put girls on pedestals, why not treat them like queens?

We have all heard THE story: We’re sitting at brunch and one of our female friends starts talking about this bad date she had. The story always ends with "it was so expensive and he made me pay for half, that jerk!"

We asked her out: If I ask a girl out, why shouldn’t I pay for her? Makes sense to me. If the girl asked to buy me a drink, I’d consider letting her, though I probably wouldn’t. I have yet to be asked out on a first date by someone I actually wanted to go out with.

We picked the place: My friend Jessalyn said it best "I do think if the guy picks the place for the first date, he should be prepared to pay." What if it’s a really nice place, or to see a show for $100, how can we expect the girl to pay? We can’t.

Tradition: Tradition dictates that we pay. Who are we to change that tradition now, without agreeing to it prior to going out?

We want to avoid the awkward: The tradition is set in stone, even if both people want to go dutch, it can be awkward getting to that point. She takes out her wallet, he says not thanks, she refuses.

We want her to like us: If a girl insists on paying for herself, this is a signal that she doesn’t like you. The girl doesn’t want to owe you anything, and thus is paying. If she liked you, she wouldn’t mind being treated.

We like to show off: Self explanatory.

We want to hook up: This may be misguided, but most guys do assume that have a better shot at getting some action if we pay. Girls will say “I hate feeling like I owe the guy something” when he pays, but of course, she does feel that way…and sometimes, she’ll even give in.

We want to eat off the girl’s plate: The way I see it, if I know that I’m paying, and she knows that I’m paying, technically, she is eating my food. I’m allowing her to eat my food. Since that is the case, I can just reach over to her plate and take whatever I want.

More on Long Distance, Nakedness, and Crazy Sandy Eggo

"I broke up w/my boyfriend because I went long distance and now I'm coming home for the holidays. Should I see him? "

This totally depends on if you see yourself with him long term.

A) If you do see him as a possible guy of your dreams, then see him, reignite the sparks, go for it. By now, you've been apart long enough to know the answer to the big questions about him. As you know, long distance will tell you what you need to know (whether you should be together or not).

B) If you do not see yourself with him, then do not talk to him, do not message him, do not meet up with him. You have just spent the last 5 months getting over him, with the idea in your head that this is the right decision. Seeing him will only set you back months... and it will only solve your short term loneliness issues. When you go back to your new "home" you'll be thinking about him again, as if you just left for the first time a week earlier.

(Update, I got a message from her - "I had sex w/him last night" followed by another email "I already want him to call or text though, that's bad") - She should have listened.

(Update, to the Update - When I asked if I could post this she said she couldn't talk b/c she was at his apt)

"What types of girls send naked pictures? "

All types of girls do. Read this article that my friend randomly sent to a few weeks ago. 11% of 13-16 year old girls, 36% of adult girls! It's amazing. Don't be shy, just ask. And if you do it...don't worry, everyone does. The best line from this "advice column" is "Make sure you are clear with your teen about what you consider appropriate “electronic” behavior." Too funny.

(Update, she did not spend me pictures)

"How do you tell someone that you are on a date with that they have something in their teeth? "

I ask them: "Are we friends yet?" If they say "Yes" then you tell them, if they say "no" then its probably not a good date anyway so you can then decide to say something like "oh, well if we were friends I would tell you that you have something in your teeth" Or you can just not tell them, as long as you can stand looking at him/her w/it for the next 20 min/hour.

(Update, she laughed her ass off at this response)

Back for another bout of CRAZY is "Sandy Eggo"

"If you were dating someone and she basically threw a temper tantrum, whined, called and texted a few times until she got her way, would you stay with them?"

I would, but I would need some space. We all know most girls have a little crazy in them... but its the amount of crazy a guy can put up w/that can make or break a relationship. Someone like me can deal w/lotsa crazy before pushed away b/c we've been dealing with it our whole lives. Many guys can't put up with much, so you may be treading on thin ice.

(Update - She's still w/him... and she's still nuts)

Have you ever paid for sex?

Every day... every date... but never directly paying... its all indirect... and sometimes, even though I've paid for it... I don't want it anymore. Tell me if that makes sense. I do have a freind who paid for head from a hooker in Montreal... then after she did coke lines she passed out and he took his money back and left. I'm not sure, since he got his money back, if it actually counts as paying.