Staying Broken Up

How do you know when a relationship has run its course??
Already ended mine but having second, third and fourth thoughts after breaking up twice in 2 days.

Wow people, what happened to the easy, softball questions about suicide bombers and pop culture.

"They say that breaking up is hard to do
Now I know, I know that it's true
Don't say that this is the end
Instead of breaking up I wish that we were making up again"

There are some very simple rules to breaking up:

• Break up for a good reason. I'm talking about A) Cheating, B) Drugs, C) Kids, D) Religion, E) Sex, F) Communication G) Distance.
• When you break up with someone, you need to have thought about doing it beforehand. Spontaneous breakups don't last unless they involved "A" above.
• Don't break up to try out single life. Single life sucks. You need to break up b/c of the person you are dating.
• Do it sober, and do it calmly and rationally. Try to avoid being emotional when you are doing it. It'll help you say good bye easier.

Since you didn't ask me before you already broke up, the above does not really apply, and the below will hopefully help you.

In order to avoid a relapse, or make-up/break-up/make-up/break-up the above will help, but after you break up you must also:

Make it a clean break. N/2 is at least how long you HAVE to go without any interaction before you are "over someone" (N = the length of time you dated) Of course, I've written how you are never technically over someone.

• Remember why you broke up! This is a very important part of staying broken up. If you broke up for one of the reasons above, then it will help you to remember that reason over and over.
• If you broke up for a dumb reason, (like he didn't call you back fast enough) then its going to be hard to.
• Go out and flirt w/o other people. You don't have to have rebound sex. You don't have to hook up. You don't have to make out. BUT you do have to go out, have a good, fun, flirtatious conversation with someone. It'll inspire you, and help you forget, and help you look ahead.

What the hell did Saint Patrick actually do? Did he perform 3 miracles? As I usually say when referring to our President, what's so great about this guy?

I think you just discovered the single greatest pick up line for Friday (St. Patrick's Day). You could definitely walk up to any girl (or boy) at any bar and ask them if they know what he did. Feel free to come armed with the real answer (though I don't think it is necessary at all for the pick-up line to work).

St. Patrick was the Patron Saint of Ireland. This means that A) most Irish don't care what he did and B) he brought Christianity to Ireland.

As a teen he was captured and sold into slavery in Ireland, and six years later he escaped to Gaul (now France) where he later became a monk. Around 432 he returned to Ireland as a missionary and succeeded in converting many of the island's tribes to Christianity. Late in life he wrote the brief text Confessio detailing his life and ministry. His feast day, March 17, is celebrated as a day of Irish pride in many parts of the world. A popular folk tale says that St. Patrick chased all snakes from Ireland, but there is no historical basis for this story. Another folk tale, that he used shamrocks to teach about the holy Trinity, is also generally agreed to be a myth.

If you have questions, feel free to submit them to askbens@yahoo.com

Robin's Non Dilemma

I'm interested in your perspective as a dater, just interested in how you would interpret something. I had told this guy i would meet him friday night. We talked on the phone once, on IM a little, he seemed normal enough. A few hours bfore we were supposed to meet, my co-worker sends an email saying two of his friends backed out going to see spamalot. I felt really bad cancelling b/c i'm too nice, so i figure whatever, i'm sure he'll say no- but i'll see if he wants to just meet in the city, see the show- but i didn't intend on paying for his ticket- since we had never even met. So when i ask, i tell him the situation, tell him the price of the ticket, the location of the seats and ask if he wants the other ticket.
If a girl presented that to you, a girl who you'd never met, and told you the price of the ticket, would you think she was going to pay for you? If someone ends up with an extra ticket to something, and tells me the price then i believe it's implied. It's awkard to say "you have to pay for your ticket" on the phone.

So he said he loves broadway, why not. There was no chemistry- we both felt that. He didnt think it was a match either, said that specifically. I waited to for him to do something before i asked about the ticket b/c i felt bad just sending a random emial. So after he said he wasn't interested, I sent him a nice email about how i realize he must have forgotten and he's like "Very cute with the ticket thing, i almost thought you were serious!" Ya, that was his literal response. He's 32, it's not like he's a stupid kid. He lives at home with mom and dad though. I wrote back and said there must be a misunderstaning and that i did not intend on paying for a broadway ticket for a blind date. Yada Yada and that if he could not afford it (he's a teacher) or chose not to pay it, i would not bother him about it.

Well i understand being upset over paying for dinner, but a broadway show....why would i do that????? I wouldn't expect a guy to pay for me for a broadway show who i had never met.

Ben's Opinion: NOW YOU KNOW HOW EVERY GUY FEELS AFTER A BAD FIRST DATE!! I can't imagine calling a girl after our date and saying something like "I know I offered to pay for dinner, but I wasn't sure yet if I wanted to go out again. Now, I'm sure I don't, so can you please send me a check for $60? I'll send you a stamp if you need one." SUCK IT UP ROBIN, AND TAKE FULL ADVANTAGE OF THE NEXT GUY THAT TAKES YOU OUT, IN ORDER TO MAKE UP THE LOST CASH!

I've spent around $1000 over the past 6 weeks dating, and you're upset over $75 when you are a lawyer making more than 3x as much as he is!