30, Valentine's Day, Girl on Girl Issues, and Facebook Deleting
What are some of the benefits to being 30?
Here's what I got off the top of my head:
- I have more credibility, people think I'm successful.
- People think I'm mature...this means that when I act immature, I can catch people offguard (which is the purpose of acting that way).
- I'm allowed to get fat...or be fat...or at least I have an excuse for getting fat.
- When someone asks me to help them move apartments for the fee of some pizza and beer, I can say no. I'm pretty sure this is the rule, once you turn 30, you no longer have any obligation to help anyone move....your friends should get movers already.
How do you do Valentine's Day well?
First of all, I hate Valentine's day. My goal, as a boyfriend is to make every day feel like Valentine's Day... or at least that's what I tell my DJ. (I'm so freakin smooth w/the lines sometimes).
When you "Do It Up" on Vday, you just set her up for disappointment the other 362 days of the year (not her bday or xmas). You also get her expectations really high for the following Vday. She just wants to be with you, so spend the entire day with her! If you want to get her flowers, fine. If you want to spend an absurd amount of money on a dinner you could get the night before or after for 1/3 of the cost, you're an idiot, and if you want to take her somewhere special, enjoy. But as I said before, you're gonna have to do this over and over for the rest of your life...so don't do too much or she'll be disappointed ever year. Do not propose to her (see below)***
Above all, get her a gift and a card (oops). It doesn't have to cost $, it doesn't have to be romantic, it just has to be thoughtful... a thoughtful surprise.
The last thing you need to do is remind her what Valentine's Day is for women, a competition. Every girl, single or taken has to ask "What'd you do yesterday? What'd he get you? Where did he take you?" That "Everygirl's" goal is to judge and rank, though her reaction will likely be "awwe." You need to tell your girl that this isn't some competition, and that you are not trying to win any awards, you just love spending time w/her. You need tell her to answer those questions as such "We had a lovely day/evening together," or "He got me something thoughtful and special" or "He took me somewhere personal and special."
The purpose is to A) Trivialize all other women into a "how could I ever like anyone but you" classificaiton and B) let her know that you're not gonna "do it up," but it shouldn't ever be a compention, that's not the point. Also, if you ever decide to "do it up" 5 years from now, she'll be extra surprised.
*** If you propose to a girl on any special day, that day will become even more special. HOWEVER, if for some reason, she says "no" or you screw it up and you break up, that day will forever be ruined in her life. Is that a nice thing to do for a girl? Possibly ruin every xmas she has for the last 60 years of her life b/c you decided to propose on xmas? Exactly.
My female / female friendship is unballanced, what do I do? My friend is awesome, and I love her, and she loves me, but I can't help that she's only cute while I'm stunning can I?
The best female / female friendships work when both person thinks the other is a little bit better than they are. in terms of looks, coolness, money, status, popularity, or whatever other superfical judgement category girls use to value things. There are two possibilites, you can try to live with it, or you can pump her up. As you know, being the pretty one sucks very often. Remind her of this. Try something like "Sometimes I'm so jealous of how approachable you are. Guys talk to you constantly b/c you're so cute, while guys are just intimidated by me. The only guys who talk to me are the assholes with the guts to do it, or the really drunk ones. You have normal guys walking up to you all the time, while I have to keep my guard up b/c I get a constant streem of cocky jerks. Trust me, being 'pretty' sucks!" GOOD LUCK!
I realized yesterday that some guy i'm Facebook friends with is having a baby...and that i have no idea who he is. This mornig, I actually ran into someone that i'm fb friends with that i haven't seen in like 8 years! now i can't delete him, right? We said hi and then he 'wrote on my wall' 1/2 hour later. The question is, when is it ok to delete a FB friend?
I delete FB friends all the time. There is an art to it. A few years ago, I deleted a bunch and then told the rest that they'd been saved - Here's the article.
Anyway, you can keep whoever you want, if you like them, even if you haven't talked to them in years. These are the types of people you can delete, at any time, no matter what. Unfortunately, you may not delete family, unless you are deleting your parents and you are under 22.
People you haven't talked to in a year.
People you met once.
People I will never message again
Ex's at any time, for any reason.
(feel free to comment w/your own rules for deletion)
A good test of someone's facebook friend worthyness is thinking of this hypothetical scenario. If you ran into that person at a bar, and none of your mutual friends were in the room, would you talk to them or ignore them?
This happened to me last summer. I was standing right next to a FB friend who I gone to college with. I didn't say hi and pretty much pretended like we didn't know eacother. She was deleted the next day.
As I said, these are just guidelines, you don’t have to delete these people. You don’t ever have to delete someone you actually like.
Funny story: Last month I emailed a girl that I had not talked to in years because a friend of mine was applying for a job at her company, and I was hoping to help by sending the resume through her. She wrote back "Honestly, it would not be professional for me to recommend a complete stranger." Of course, I wasn't asking for a recommendation, just an "in." A few days later, she deleted me. I wrote back post deletion "congrats on getting married." The funniest part of this story is that, though we have not talked in 4 years probably, I'm pretty sure she reads this site periodically.
Here's what I got off the top of my head:
- I have more credibility, people think I'm successful.
- People think I'm mature...this means that when I act immature, I can catch people offguard (which is the purpose of acting that way).
- I'm allowed to get fat...or be fat...or at least I have an excuse for getting fat.
- When someone asks me to help them move apartments for the fee of some pizza and beer, I can say no. I'm pretty sure this is the rule, once you turn 30, you no longer have any obligation to help anyone move....your friends should get movers already.
How do you do Valentine's Day well?
First of all, I hate Valentine's day. My goal, as a boyfriend is to make every day feel like Valentine's Day... or at least that's what I tell my DJ. (I'm so freakin smooth w/the lines sometimes).
When you "Do It Up" on Vday, you just set her up for disappointment the other 362 days of the year (not her bday or xmas). You also get her expectations really high for the following Vday. She just wants to be with you, so spend the entire day with her! If you want to get her flowers, fine. If you want to spend an absurd amount of money on a dinner you could get the night before or after for 1/3 of the cost, you're an idiot, and if you want to take her somewhere special, enjoy. But as I said before, you're gonna have to do this over and over for the rest of your life...so don't do too much or she'll be disappointed ever year. Do not propose to her (see below)***
Above all, get her a gift and a card (oops). It doesn't have to cost $, it doesn't have to be romantic, it just has to be thoughtful... a thoughtful surprise.
The last thing you need to do is remind her what Valentine's Day is for women, a competition. Every girl, single or taken has to ask "What'd you do yesterday? What'd he get you? Where did he take you?" That "Everygirl's" goal is to judge and rank, though her reaction will likely be "awwe." You need to tell your girl that this isn't some competition, and that you are not trying to win any awards, you just love spending time w/her. You need tell her to answer those questions as such "We had a lovely day/evening together," or "He got me something thoughtful and special" or "He took me somewhere personal and special."
The purpose is to A) Trivialize all other women into a "how could I ever like anyone but you" classificaiton and B) let her know that you're not gonna "do it up," but it shouldn't ever be a compention, that's not the point. Also, if you ever decide to "do it up" 5 years from now, she'll be extra surprised.
*** If you propose to a girl on any special day, that day will become even more special. HOWEVER, if for some reason, she says "no" or you screw it up and you break up, that day will forever be ruined in her life. Is that a nice thing to do for a girl? Possibly ruin every xmas she has for the last 60 years of her life b/c you decided to propose on xmas? Exactly.
My female / female friendship is unballanced, what do I do? My friend is awesome, and I love her, and she loves me, but I can't help that she's only cute while I'm stunning can I?
The best female / female friendships work when both person thinks the other is a little bit better than they are. in terms of looks, coolness, money, status, popularity, or whatever other superfical judgement category girls use to value things. There are two possibilites, you can try to live with it, or you can pump her up. As you know, being the pretty one sucks very often. Remind her of this. Try something like "Sometimes I'm so jealous of how approachable you are. Guys talk to you constantly b/c you're so cute, while guys are just intimidated by me. The only guys who talk to me are the assholes with the guts to do it, or the really drunk ones. You have normal guys walking up to you all the time, while I have to keep my guard up b/c I get a constant streem of cocky jerks. Trust me, being 'pretty' sucks!" GOOD LUCK!
I realized yesterday that some guy i'm Facebook friends with is having a baby...and that i have no idea who he is. This mornig, I actually ran into someone that i'm fb friends with that i haven't seen in like 8 years! now i can't delete him, right? We said hi and then he 'wrote on my wall' 1/2 hour later. The question is, when is it ok to delete a FB friend?
I delete FB friends all the time. There is an art to it. A few years ago, I deleted a bunch and then told the rest that they'd been saved - Here's the article.
Anyway, you can keep whoever you want, if you like them, even if you haven't talked to them in years. These are the types of people you can delete, at any time, no matter what. Unfortunately, you may not delete family, unless you are deleting your parents and you are under 22.
People you haven't talked to in a year.
People you met once.
People I will never message again
Ex's at any time, for any reason.
(feel free to comment w/your own rules for deletion)
A good test of someone's facebook friend worthyness is thinking of this hypothetical scenario. If you ran into that person at a bar, and none of your mutual friends were in the room, would you talk to them or ignore them?
This happened to me last summer. I was standing right next to a FB friend who I gone to college with. I didn't say hi and pretty much pretended like we didn't know eacother. She was deleted the next day.
As I said, these are just guidelines, you don’t have to delete these people. You don’t ever have to delete someone you actually like.
Funny story: Last month I emailed a girl that I had not talked to in years because a friend of mine was applying for a job at her company, and I was hoping to help by sending the resume through her. She wrote back "Honestly, it would not be professional for me to recommend a complete stranger." Of course, I wasn't asking for a recommendation, just an "in." A few days later, she deleted me. I wrote back post deletion "congrats on getting married." The funniest part of this story is that, though we have not talked in 4 years probably, I'm pretty sure she reads this site periodically.
Labels: 30, facebook deleting, friends, valentine's day
posted by Ben Steger | 11:50 PM
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