Apologies and Starting Over
Today I start and end w/an apology to a friend, who will never talk to me again. I started this website to be creative, to entertain, and to remember, but I seemed to have strayed from that path, because my last post hurt someone, and likely cost me a friend, one of the nicest people I know.
A few months back, she and I were having a serious email discussion about her relationship, and I got a pretty creative with my responses. Creative to the point where I asked her if I could use the conversation on my website. She refused, and I moved on.
Last week, when posting my Q&A, I realized that I did like my responses enough that I wanted to post them. The entry needed something extra, and this conversation had it. So I changed my friends name, changed her questions, left my responses and changed my after thoughts (I just made it up). However, I did not ask my friend for permission, knowing that she may read, but hoping the changes were enough.
She did read the post, she told me to take it down (which I did) and never to talk to her again. She was obviously very upset. I had posted something private which she wished to stay private. I’m not sure how any apology can ever make up for that.
I’m not sure how I got to this point. To the point where I would take someone’s words, without their permission, and post them online. The purpose of this site was never to hurt anyone, was never to make someone anxious as they read for fear that they would be mentioned, or anything along those lines. Yet somehow, I have deteriorated to that point, and I think I need to reassess the whole concept, the whole process, and the whole purpose.
I am sorry to my friend. I’m sorry for betraying her trust, I’m sorry for being a bad friend, a bad person, and someone who she doesn’t ever want to see again. I’m sorry to you people, because I’m not sure if I should be writing anymore. Maybe I should focus on this “book” I’m writing. Maybe I should move to a more private setting, but I do need to reassess the purpose, and the desire. To start, if I write, I’ll be writing only about me. I’m sorry.
A few months back, she and I were having a serious email discussion about her relationship, and I got a pretty creative with my responses. Creative to the point where I asked her if I could use the conversation on my website. She refused, and I moved on.
Last week, when posting my Q&A, I realized that I did like my responses enough that I wanted to post them. The entry needed something extra, and this conversation had it. So I changed my friends name, changed her questions, left my responses and changed my after thoughts (I just made it up). However, I did not ask my friend for permission, knowing that she may read, but hoping the changes were enough.
She did read the post, she told me to take it down (which I did) and never to talk to her again. She was obviously very upset. I had posted something private which she wished to stay private. I’m not sure how any apology can ever make up for that.
I’m not sure how I got to this point. To the point where I would take someone’s words, without their permission, and post them online. The purpose of this site was never to hurt anyone, was never to make someone anxious as they read for fear that they would be mentioned, or anything along those lines. Yet somehow, I have deteriorated to that point, and I think I need to reassess the whole concept, the whole process, and the whole purpose.
I am sorry to my friend. I’m sorry for betraying her trust, I’m sorry for being a bad friend, a bad person, and someone who she doesn’t ever want to see again. I’m sorry to you people, because I’m not sure if I should be writing anymore. Maybe I should focus on this “book” I’m writing. Maybe I should move to a more private setting, but I do need to reassess the purpose, and the desire. To start, if I write, I’ll be writing only about me. I’m sorry.
posted by Ben Steger | 9:42 AM
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